Blessedbrenda

I stared in the Sky, In search of that one glimmering star. But all my eyes could catch,  was a dark grey sky  And then, it hit me,  looking for a light in a very cold dark grey sky, was synonymous to looking for a knight in a shining armor in my life.  But..my eyes can't stop searching the sky,  for I believe there is a star(s) shadowed by the pregnant sky.  And there, my eyes beamed for it sensed a knight in my life as well. Just pregnant skies obscuring my sight of him.😭

This guy walks up to me and tells me I look sick, like my eyes look sickly. Honestly, I am not sick. I am just lovesick.  Not lovesick in a way of missing an already existing love, but lovesick in a way of missing the thrill and excitement that comes with being loved and having someone to love. My heart is craving these kinds of emotions. It's asking me to have sb to hug it. And that, has made me crave a completely nude body wrapped around mine in the same stature. Engulfed in each other so tightly that our hearts can speak to each other. And perhaps, that will make my heart dance in it's blood at the warmth it is embraced in.  I am fucking lovesick.  Writing this and my eyes are getting teary. I feel like there are a thousand atoms in me reacting to each other ready to explode. Is love and me so pararell that even getting attracted to sb is this hard? How can my body and I be in such awe but my brain and heart have completely failed to sight sb to spark a fire and a lif...

Dear Blessing Tell me why You call me in my dreams  Saying sweetnothings  Soft murmurs in my ears n Only to resent me when I wake. Tell me why  I smile when you invade my prayers Offering sweet sin  Slime soaking your thighs Only to disappear when I wake Tell me why  I want to kneel at your feet Rip off your jeans  And worship with my tongue From my heart and my soul. Tell me why  I know the dress to fit your curve The color to wear under it  A joke to make your day But I missed when you called. Tell me why  If I have loved you  And you ever loved me We call each other friend  And never share the weekends.

All I wanted was you. You and bits you were  afraid of the world knowing I wanted you and everything, that comes with you  All I wanted was you, To hear your laughter so bad, To hear your cracking voice I yearned for your touch,  To feel the texture of your fingertips Run across my body. All I wanted was you, To gaze at that smile so bad Wake up one day when it's that curve And so many curves on you,  I am glancing at All I ever wanted was you, It's you,  I wanted to be the one, Wanted it so bad that I forgot, How I wanted to be loved, And settled for pea amounts of love, All I wanted was you. You to be the guy,  I run to amidst chaos All I wanted was you, You to be my knight in shining armor, You to be my other half. The one I tell about,  the smiles and tears of my day All I wanted was you, You and everything  that comes with you I wanted you,  And your happiness  And your confusion All I wanted was you. I badly wanted you, But I only ...

Smiling and chanting one minute, Emotionless the other.  Caught between I am tired and I want me no more. Scrolling through my phone trying to subside this feeling with an ecstatic one, That can curve a smile on my lips and send serotonin and dopamine down my nerves, but the effort is futile.  And even when I do so,  I smile and I laugh with a heavy heart. It's just on the surface,  because seconds later my chest is big for me and the pain excruciating.  I want to scream out loud, Thinking that doing so will give me relief but I am not even left with a single grain of energy to do so. Unconsciously, I feel drops fall down my cheeks. Trying to stop them, I swallow hard.  Before I know it,  I am wailing. How can the weight of the entire world be placed on one single being? Because that's what I feel. I need something to sedate me.  Talking to sb no longer helps,  it reminds me of how disadvantaged I am. Sleep helps for a moment.  The momen...

Life wasn't getting any easier and so was she!! The once big genuine smile was replaced by a wornout grin, She was losing bits of her And she was taking on a hard coat,  So hard to penetrate,  She hoped she would recognize the person she was becoming, She could hardly recognize even her own self She was alien in her own skin She was changing  Not sure whether it was for the better or for the worse. The world had already given her a taste of it's ruthlessness, Seeing her favorite comrades turn into strangers People who had become part of her drifting apart And their departure killed most parts of her!! They changed her, She was afraid of attachments, How long will she lose herself to mistaken strangers? Life was already bitter, Nothing seemed going to plan, Waking up everyday uncertain of the next hour, Living in the moment is what she learnt, For she had unknowingly lost treasures she thought were forever. Changes, One moment she's ecstatic, Feeling the world ...